Saturday, December 31, 2011

Day 175

Today's movie de jour is up.  Day 29

Last day of 2011. Feels weird.  Dec 31st every year feels weird.  You sit and take stock of the events of that year, see if you learned anything important, see if you tried anything new that lead to anything new.

Tried a few things, failed at a few things, was more honest, was also less brave. 

Here's to trying more, succeeding more, being even more honest and more brave in the coming year.

Happy New Year.


Friday, December 30, 2011

174 Plan B

I've always had a soft spot for the story of Frankenstein by Mary Shelley.  It's something I refer back to often in my life. 

I know this is a drama free zone, but I sort of feel the need to talk and this is the blog I've talked most about my health issues on recently. 
Monday will mark 7 weeks since I broke my foot.  Took the bandages off today then had to re-bandage two toes as they are still not healed which I realized when I tried to take a step without anything of a wrapper support. 

I cried.  Not from the pain which I've gotten semi-used to, but from the look of the two still not fully healed toes. 
They're slightly misshapen now.   I know in the grande scheme of the world that's not even a grain of salt in the mines.  But for me, it's one more stab at my self-esteem because of my O.I. 
37 years of broken bones, crushed vertebrae, herniated discs, a collapsed lung,  plates, pins, rods, screws, and scars. Not too mention the arthritis.
I've used a cane for a large chunk of my life and have to have orthotics in my shoes.  Athletic sneakers all year round never anything that can be called girly or pretty and never ever heels.   Reason I wear jeans all the time or yoga pants because why bother getting dressed up in a skirt when you know your shoes will destroy the outfit... I digress here...

So my now still not healed but misshapen toes will when they do heal, will have to be refitted for another pair of orthotics because the old ones were molded to the shape of my feet. 
That's going to cost about $350 - ironically the price of a pair of strappy black slingbacks.

Yeah, having a total Frankenstein day right now.  Feeling very castle freak. 

Day 174

Some of you who read my other stuff, know that I was trying to do a vampire movie back a few years ago.  For more reasons then I want to get into {yet again}  it just didn't get finished.
However, I had been at the time, keeping a production journal.  One that I had tucked away and forgot about for the last few years.
It chronicled the people that were involved, the plot of the film, the character outlines, and meeting times.  The other thing it had were photos of myself and a few crew members, drawings, stickers {yes I said stickers} and photocopies from horror magazines of things that inspired it all to begin with.

I was looking for something tonight, and found this old production journal -dusty to say the lest.  One of the things that drew me to it back in 2005 {yes the whole project was a few years back}  was the style of the journal.   One side of the page was lined the other blank... the better to draw doodles on my dear...
So, I did the only thing I could.  I ripped out all the used pages - of which there was about 20- and tucked them away with the script.  {I couldn't bare the idea of burning them or throwing them away. Script either as a full year went into what I did have}

Here's the thing.
Last night I was looking for a book online, and a recommendation came up for "Wreck this Journal".  I decided to take a look at the book online, as I have had a few people {bloggers} in the past few months talking about that book.  I'm still wondering if it's something I should bother getting, as I've never had any issues with desecrating a sketchbook/journal.  And I know the whole purpose of WTJ is to get people to be spontaneously creative.
In the new manuscript I have been writing for the last few days, I have a character who is an artist and have written in {before coming across Wreck this Journal} that she carries around this beat up sketchbook.
That in itself might be taken as a sign. 
Then I found my lost production book, and I'm thinking this would be perfect to turn into a prop to better get inside the character and flesh her out some.  Another sign...
And now, just moments ago;  I see online hundreds of photos of other people's WTJ journals, and countless youtubes of people doing the activities in the book.

So, I'm asking anyone reading this very very long post to comment on here with your experiences with the Wreck this Journal.  Is it worth it?

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Day 173

The movie de jour is up. Day 27. 
I was up early once again with insomnia so I thought I would make use of the time. 

It's still dark and grey and foggy outside this morning.  Street lights are still on. I still can't get over the fact we are only 2 days away from the new year. 
Ever notice it takes till nearly May to remember to write the correct year on cheques and stuff?  Why is that you think?  I wonder how far into the new year it will be before I stop having to cross out 2011 and write 2012 without hesitation?

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Day 172

The movie de jour is up.  Day 26

As I was watching this movie, the only thing I was thinking was that I would love to have the apartment they used.

We are only 3 days from the new year and the planet Jupiter has turned from a retrograde motion to a direct motion this week.   It's been spinning backwards since Aug {2011}  causing a halt on plans and projects.  We should finally see things we started last summer give us results.   

I need to break out my astrology stuff soon and brush up on the coming Chinese New Year, which I think is the ... year of the Dragon?   There was a time I used to know all this sort of stuff off the top of my head like a walking encyclopedia.  But the last few years my mind has been horrible.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

part B

Okay, so I said in the original post for today {Day 171} that I was running late with the movie de jour on the movie blog.   It's up now.  Day 25

And in the last few hours I've also managed to crank out 8 pages on a new manuscript that was inspired by my favourite wrestling tag team.   The most I've managed to write in almost a year.  So many kisses to Mr. Shelley and Mr. Sabin. 

And there has been something on my mind since the night before last that has got me wondering about a few things.  One being if I should even talk about it.   I had some sort of dream/vision/flash whatever you want to call it, of a man and a dog.   The guy was nothing more then a shadowed outline but the dog was clear as day.  A Cocker Spaniel -white with brown -  and the shadow was playing with the dog, feeding it dog treats or sugar cookies or something.  

I've talked on before {can't remember if it was this blog or one of my others???}  about the book Hot Chocolate for the Mystical Lover's Soul  by Arielle Ford which has true stories about how people found their soulmate/true love.  And more then half of them talk about something like that,  having a dream/vision/flash of insight where they saw a shadowy figure or one without a clear description which ended up coming true.  



Day 171

For those looking for the movie de jour, it's going to be late.   I know I normally like to have it up in the mornings, but I've been dealing with a major sinus headache.  I'm having a difficult time keeping focus on even this computer screen right now.  I guess that's what I get for not doing my homework last night.

I have forgotten how much I loved Shakespeare.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Day 170

Movie de jour was posted this morning.  Day 24

We hit a lovely +6c today.  Everything is melting away.  I am hoping it stays melted for the next few days. 

It's Boxing Day.  I'm waiting for the mad rush of people to slow down later in the week to get out and try to take advantage of Boxing Week sales.   I remember when Boxing Day was an actual holiday, and the day after was when the stores had their Boxing Day sales.  Now, you have a full week starting on actual Boxing Day. 
Which also means, the new year is only a few short days away.   Can you all believe we are heading into 2012? 


Sunday, December 25, 2011

Day 169

The movie de jour is up.  Day 23

So today is a Sunday.  It doesn't feel like a Sunday.  Doesn't feel much like anything really. But the looks of the day outside, it doesn't even look like day. 

Picked up my copy of Julie and Julia -the book- and started to re-read it last night.  You can tell a book has been hanging around for awhile, it's got that dusty smell to it. Even when there isn't actual dust in it. I first read it back in 2009 when I found out the movie was coming out and that it was based on a book.  I spent about three days before the movie came out at the cinema reading. 

I was bored last night, feeling down a bit and decided that I wanted to make a rice and broccoli casserole.  So I made the rice and went to get the broccoli which was frozen... or so I thought.  Instead of a bag of frozen broccoli in the freezer, there was a bag of asparagus.  That wasn't going to work for the dish nor the time I had.  So the rice got a few large handfuls of cheese instead. 

and this is why you should not cook when you're not up to par.  Because the dish will reflect your mood and my mood last night was blah.   The rice just didn't come out right and the cheese didn't melt proper and it just ... mess to say the lest. 

That's why you'll always hear chefs say you have to put your love into a dish.  Have to cook from the soul, from the heart.  Cause if you don't, it's just going to be a disaster.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Day 168

I posted the movie de jour first thing this morning.  Day 22

I was debating if I should blog on here today or not?  Nothing going on here for me today, just reading and the movie challenge.  Fun huh?

I was thinking about Hamlet and Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.   The Kenneth Branagh versions.  It's a bit of a tradition for me to watch those films at xmas.   Not because they have anything to do with this time of year really.  But because, I received them once as xmas gifts.  On VHS.   That's how long ago.


Well I'm babbling and my coffee is getting cold.  Hope everyone reading this has a safe weekend.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Day 167

Today's movie de jour is up.  Day 21

And I think I figured out something from Hamlet that I've never understood before... the line about being insane when the wind blows North vs being sane when it blows South, I've never really gotten that whole bit before I watched today's film.   
If I'm right, then he's meaning that he's only being this way in front of certain people depending on where they are from and who's loyalty those other people have... 

My Shakespeare  is more then rusty.  

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Day 166

So I'm home once again.  I just blogged on my main blog about what I did at mother's.  Which was catch up on my soaps and some of the cooking shows.
Sort of sucks that the free preview for the Food Network Canada is going to end soon.  I hope it at lest holds out until after the Chuck's Day Off marathon next week. 

I will say that the movie de jour will be late tonight, as I have not even picked out a movie yet.  And I still have to make something for supper. 
I baked some cookies yesterday.  Nothing major just a small batch of Shortbread.  They did a disappearing act in less time then it took to make them.   Now I know why my mom hated baking when we were younger because you do all the work and they get devoured in seconds.

Okay so off to make supper then do the movie de jour.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Day 165

The movie a day is up.  Day 19.

Tomorrow's movie of the day, might be late.  I know I've been watching at night and posting in the mornings; but I'm going to go to my mother's today for the night.   I had said last week on my main blog I didn't think I would go there again so soon given my foot still isn't healed.  But,  I'll just say, I've been talked into it.
So, those who are regular readers of my stuff, and specially the movie a day blog, I might not have the chance to post tomorrow's stuff until I get home tomorrow night.  As I have no interest in fighting for the computer with my mother.  
With that said, this will give me a chance to see what the new releases are this week on the Video on Demand rental that mom has through Shaw

I do believe I mentioned few weeks ago, that I've some how managed to loose weight since my foot has been broken.   I've lost 12 pounds doing nothing but sitting on my ass.   Which I am sure will get ruined by the fact it's the holidays and there will be cookies and other baking in the next few days. The other price of going to mother's ... baking. 
I was never much of a cookie person before I started getting really interested in cooking myself.  How odd don't you think?  The older we get the way our favourite foods change. 

Before I went vegetarian ten years ago,  I lived off of hamburgers.  Seriously, I would have two burgers a meal sometimes even for breakfast.  If it have ground meat in it,  I could cook it.  {this was the main cookbook at that time in my life}
I still pride myself on my meatloaf recipe.  
Which I'm sure, when the time comes I'll have no clue how I used to make it.  And I'm sure there will be a time when I need to start cooking meat again. 
Some reason,  I can not see myself being lucky enough to find a husband who is vegetarian.  There just doesn't seem to be too many guys anymore who are.  When I was in college,  being vegetarian was the hottest thing.  It was more like a movement then an actual lifestyle choice. 

Seeing this has become one of my longer posts on this blog, I suppose I will wrap it up for today.   


Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Day 164

The daily movie post is up on the movie blog.  Day 18

It's a Tuesday.  Nothing special, early in the week.  Everybody is out doing stuff for the holiday.
It's Yule eve... or the eve of Yule eve depending on your calendar.   Some calendars have Yule listed as the 21st some the 22nd.
I go with the 21st myself which makes for me today Yule Eve.

I subscribe to the Martha Stewart newsletters, as well as a bunch of cooking ones from countless cooking sites.   I have in my emails, two years worth of the Martha Stewart cookie of the day recipes.  I think I will start to shuffle through them and start trying some new recipes. 
I've never been much of a baker, but this last summer when I was apartment sitting for my mom, I started to try a few cookie recipes from one of her cook books.  This giant 400 page book from the 1970's that is nothing but cookie recipes. 

I mastered one kind.  That's all.  Just one. 

Monday, December 19, 2011

Day 163

Today's movie de jour is up   Day 17 on there

Well, last night got sort of interesting in the fact I heard from a guy I used to be involved with.  But that's another issue for another blog.

Sun is not even out here yet and it's almost 10am.  I'm guessing we wont' see the sun much today if at all.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Day 162

So it's been a day of sinus issues for me.  Not too much fun in that.
The movie de jour was posted this morning on the movie a day blog.  Day 16 I think.

Weather here has been odd today, half wet half melting.  Hence the sinus issues.   Bit of a down day for me.  Supper was a hashbrown casserole. Nothing fancy.   I need to learn a few new casserole dishes.
Short post, not feeling very groovy at all today. 


Saturday, December 17, 2011

Day 161

Do you watch Yahoo's cooking show  Chow Ciao ?  With Fabio, one of the Top Chef -chefs?   I love that show!!!  Dude, I think he's fabulous!
I love funny guys.   I think I love goofy funny screwball nerdy guys, because that's the kind of girl I am. 

I definitely need the type of guy who can embrace his inner overgrown six year old.   The kind of guy who collects something, who still reads comics, who still like the late night cult classic type of crappy movies on tv like Plan 9 From Outer Space  or can watch a seven hour Star Trek marathon you know. A guy who's not going to look at me weird if I plan my week around the release of a new vampire movie or suggest spending a romantic weekend at a horror film/comic convention.

I will find my Nerdy-Prince Charming, I will.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Day 160

As I said on my main blog, I got a winter boot on my still not healed foot and managed to get outside our building long enough to check the mail.
Feeling good about that.

Today's movie post is up.  Day 14 on there

This past month has once again reminded me not to take the little things for granted.  It is a lesson that every time I break a body part I end up having to relive.   You have to almost retrain yourself to do things.  Over the years, I've gotten not too horrible with using my opposite hand for writing and brushing my teeth simply because I've broken my writing hand more times then I can count.

Having Osteogenesis Imperfecta   {O.I.} has a dignity all it's own... or lack there of depending on how you want to look at it.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Day 159

It was a day where I was easily distracted today.   Was watching the movie of the day, which will be posted in the morning, and I just could not keep my mind on it.  I think I missed at lest twenty minutes worth of it because I just wasn't up to myself.  Will have to rewatch that part in the morning I think.

The bit of writing I managed to do the other day seems to be about it.  The writer's block is back.

I can't believe that we're almost finished 2011... I had joined Goodreads reading challenge at the beginning of the year, with a goal of 45 books.  I managed to actually read them too.  Trying to get at lest one more read before the end of the year. 
My goal for next year will be smaller, I think I'll aim for only 25 books. 

I've got books on the brain tonight.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Day 158

Writing.
Since I was 3 years old, since the first time I picked up a crayon and started to learn to print my name; I have been writing.  That was until last year when at age 36 I stopped.
Oh there have been dribbles of things in the last year and a half,  a page here, a paragraph there, the oddly strung together sentence scribbled on sticky-notes; blog posts mostly.
I've been doubting myself for the last year and a half.  After 33 years of writing, of knowing I was a writer, of dreaming of nothing but having my novels and poetry published; I stopped.  Something in me just shut down.
Writing.
What I love about it is that you get to design everything, get to say all the lines.  Be as witty and beautiful as a movie star or model.  To think up the clothes, the hair dos, the music choices.  Things you might not be able to do physically in the real world. 
I could never be a clothes designer.  It's not something I can figure out. Sewing, knitting etc.  I've tried and everything comes out looking like rags.   But I can describe it when I write a character.
Place them in dark jeans, sneakers, a grey tee with a faded logo for a band I thought of. Give them some talisman or simply have them wear nothing but their boxers.
Writing.
I managed to write two pages of something early this morning.  A vague skeleton of a scene simply because I thought of a man and a match book cover.
In a few months, I'll be turning 38 and I have to ask myself if I still think I can get over the doubt and get back to writing. 
Really writing...

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Day 157

Today's movie post is up Day 11 on there


I can't remember if I've mentioned on here about Arielle Ford's  book  Soulmate Secret ?
Anyways, I got this book when it came out over a year ago, and have done the book cover to cover but still have not been able to bring my right man into my life.
I also subscribe to her blog/newsletter and every week read these wonderful stories about how it worked for hundreds of people always along with photos of the happy couples. 

I had at one point, emptied out a drawer for my future mate, but that left me with one extra pile of clothes on the floor; so the drawer idea was nixed after awhile.
I'm starting to think that one of the main reasons I'm still single, is because my apartment is a disaster.  

There is no room here for me, let alone another person.


Those of you who have been reading this blog for any amount of time, know that I have O.I. and am on disability.  It sucks to be honest. This also means I've been waiting for them to find me a new apartment. I've been waiting for 2 and a half years. 

No this is not a pity post cause remember no drama on this blog, it's a reminder.  A reminder to myself that everything happens when it's meant to and it's a lesson in patience. 

Another reason I've come to realize that the method in Arielle Ford's book has not worked yet for me is that I've been drifting as far as my own interests are concerned.  Hopping from one half done project to another.  I'm hoping that the movie challenge not only helps me to stay focused on something, but to open up towards what I really want to be doing with the rest of my life. 

This time of year would indeed lend itself to the Wheel in Tarot.  Knowing when to go with the flow and that every cycle brings it's ups and downs.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Day 156

As always, for those following the movie a day blog, today is now up.  It marks day 10.

I have not been sleeping much at all the last few days, and find myself beyond exhausted.  It's the insomnia.

Not really much of a fan of this time of year.  Holiday wise.  I like the snow, just not the whole holiday rush. 

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Day 155

Today's movie post is up.  Day 8 on there.

It seems now that I can watch both major wrestling companies online.  The three major shows {two from WWE,  one from TNA}   and someone said to me the other day "great now you can go back to your commentary/reviews"

I admit this makes doing the wrestling stuff easier in that regard and would allow me to have screen captures of the WWE stuff; but this is the wrong time in my life I think to go back to it.   I've toyed with the idea but I pretty much stopped doing them last year. 
It became a full time job that came with too much stress and drained from me what I loved about having done it to begin with. 

So to the person who made the comment,  I can't say never just not right now. 
Besides, that's another reason I am doing the movie a day right now; to maybe wean away from wrestling.
I've been a fan my whole life, giving it up...not sure.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Day 154

Nothing of the furniture in my apartment was bought by me.
I'm sitting here on my sofa looking around and I realized, none of this is me.  None of it is my style.  All my furniture was hand-me-downs from my parents when I moved out for the first time; the rest are a few items I got after my grandmother died. 
Where am I in all this?

My computer and two picture frames are about the only things in this apartment that I can say I picked out myself. 
This is what happens when you're poor.   You start to feel like Miss Bates in Jane Austen's Emma.  Having no choice but to rely on the scraps of others. 

I feel a Jane Austen movie marathon is needed.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Day 153

Reading  Anthony Bourdain  The Nasty Bits
Just posted the latest movie a day post over on the movie a day blog.  Which still does not have a header banner thingie.
Out of pain pills and foot is killing me today.  Swelling has not gone down in the last two days, must be because I've been up more.  It's been almost four weeks since I broke my foot, it should be better then it is.  That's the O.I. for you.  I seem to go four years between breaks.  Which is good as some people with the disorder are breaking every time they move.

As you can see, this blog is going to go way over the year mark.  Which in another way is good, as it's whole point is to help me have a drama-free space.


Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Day 152

Middle of the week, and it's gotten cold here.

So I just posted today's movie of the day post over on the new movie blog
And I'm one week into the challenge and finding it a hell of a lot harder then I originally thought.  I have stacks of DVDs, old VHS tapes and nothing I want to sit through right now.   I did watch a few movies online so that was new.
I just hope I get into a groove with it before long.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Day 151

So it seems I have a failed book club and now a stalled slow going movie group.   But that's okay. Everything will work when/if it's suppose to.  If I never tried then I would have failed right off for not trying even.

Been watching  Marcel's Quantum Kitchen   online and I hope that it gets a second season. I really thought it had an unique way of mixing the food television with the educational elements.   Reminded me of that old kid's show  The Edison Twins  

Somehow since breaking my foot, I've managed to loose 9 pounds.   You would think because I am doing nothing but sitting on my ass that I would have gained, but surprisingly; I lost weight.  Can only think it's because I'm unable to go to the store and a fear the weight might come back full on once I am up and moving proper again.

And yesterday,  I burned the outer edges of the casserole.  Something I've made a million times in the last 5 years, that I could practically make in my sleep and yesterday I burned it.   The only thing I can think of is that I used a different type of oil in the mix. 

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Day 150

Some thinking went into a challenge.
I've decided to challenge myself to watch one movie a day for a year and blog about it.   So I fired up a space for it   here

As I write this I am wondering if it wouldn't have made more sense to have done it on this blog... but too late now.


Saturday, December 3, 2011

Day 149

And counting.

As you notice, there have been days that have more posts then others.  Good or bad not sure.  So if you're counting up the timeframe on this thing other then the day count, you're going to see that I am way off.

Pulled out the movie of Julie/Julia again.  Something strangely comforting about that movie.

The whole internet had me in a freak out panic the last 48 hours and it wasn't until middle of the night while I was unable to sleep and logged online, that I read something in another person's blog that calmed me down. 

And the second I calmed down, I was starving.   Nothing like stress to suppress your appetite


Friday, December 2, 2011

Day 148

Well, I'm still shaky from our Blogger Zombie Apocalypse from last night... how is everyone else in bloggerland?

But this got me thinking about a few things, one of which is how to combine my blogs if I need to and maybe start somewhere else.
So, I began playing around with two blogs that are private and I think I learned how to export and import things.  Just need to make enough space on my computer to handle nearly a decade of blogging.


Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Day 147

It's been a month since I last checked in.

So the deal is, I broke my foot and have been hiding out on my mother's sofa because I just could not manage the flight of stairs here.

I've had a lot of time to think, and to feel sorry for myself.  And trust me I did a lot of both.
But, I am back home now, and wondering what I'm going to do.  One big question that has been haunting me the last few days is if I am going to take a small challenge to return to eating meat.  Why would I after ten years even be thinking about that?  Because of the cooking. 

It all comes back to the cooking. 
There is so much I still want to learn in regards to cooking, but to do so would mean working with meat again.  I just am not sure I am up for it.

Not sure I'm up for much right now.
The past week I just could not wait to get home, and the moment I was here, it was like this heavy feeling of total sadness.

Like the building was filled with sadness. 
So here I am, at 5:55 pm and all I can think is  pizza. 

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Day 146

I decided to reopen an old blog this morning.   Not even sure why, just felt like it was the right time to do it.  Could be because of all the stuff I've been thinking of lately in regards to my writing.

That and because this is the week the movie version of the Hunter S. Thompson book The Rum Diary is released. 
When I think about how long that book sat around as a manuscript before it was ever published... something like 30 years, then another fifteen before it became a movie.    Makes me feel not so horrid about the way my novel has been hitting road block after road block.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Day 145

Okay, so snag with the Charmed.  There seems to be a massive defect with the rest of season 8 disks.  I ended up taking the box set back and getting a second one.   And that one had the same issues. 
I've got HMV to order me another one.  Let's hope that the third one is a charm - puns intended-

If you've been reading my main blog then you know I've been back in the kitchen the last few days.  Only mother is being her evil self. 

I've also been thinking alot about my writing and where I should be taking it now.  I'd really like to have a weekly column, only our local paper is a no go.
I thought I had a way in with their new online submissions BUT they do not pay nor do they want anything "that's not local".   In other words, the type of stuff I write about is not what they want.  They want to hear only about the local hockey team etc.

So the question remains, what kind of outlet will be useful to me and how will I be useful ?

Suppose to be reading Sense and Sensibility for book club this weekend, only I can not seem to get myself to sit down and do so.   I hate to say it, but I haven't read anything in almost two months, I'm just all read out.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Day 144

I know I haven't been around much this last while.  I'm becoming a bad blogger.

Been watching a few cooking shows online again, and noticing that pulled pork seems to be in everything right now.   It's the food dejour.

So what have I been doing with my time the last while?   Mostly watching Charmed.   You might have remembered few posts back me mentioning that mom got hooked on it and I ended up getting hooked on it too.  To the point, I bought the boxed set and we've been watching the shows.  In the middle of season 8 right now.
I still shake my head at the fact my mother got me hooked on a show about witches given my mother doesn't like or believe in that sort of thing.  Not even going to try to understand it.

Haven't been cooking much either.  Eating a ton of tomato soup though.  After over two years of the ramen noodles being my main cheap-totally broke food,   I've switched for now to tomato soup.
And no, I'm not going to start counting how many cans of the soup I've had, will just stick to the noodles.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Day 143

Back from my holiday.

Been trying to figure out how to get my photos from my cell phone to my computer to use on my blogs, but not having any luck on it.
Had to buy an adapter chip which fits fine in my camera, but my camera does not read it.  I keep getting an error message.
Which sort of sucks because I took all these restaurant shots that I had intended for my cooking blog.  I had wanted to do a mini foodie tour of my trip.

Anyone remember how I said my mom got hooked on the show Charmed last month because it came on before Sex and the City... well, she got me doubly hooked.  So much that I ended up buying the dvds.  It started off so innocently; we were setting the dvr so we didn't miss the next episode, then we went looking online because we had not seen the first season or half of season two.  Then poof my credit card came into play. And I the collector's edition too with the "book of shadows" which is very beautiful when you think about it.

Only now, I'm not allowed to bring it home.  Not allowed to watch the episodes without mom.  She's holding it hostage. 

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Day 142

You know what eating all these ramen noodles, soup etc and hanging out everyday at my mother's has earned me this last 9 months?
Enough money to get out of town for the week.

I have a bus ticket, hotel booked and leave tomorrow and will be back at the end of the week.  Finally, a chance to take a small break from everyone and everything.

And I'm doing this "old school style"   tech free.   Just one small bag, a pen and a notepad.

I'm hoping this kick starts my creativity and knocks that writer's block walls down.   I haven't written anything on my novel in over a year, nor have I done much on the internet more then a few sentences to a scattering of short stories I have on two other blogs.

Catch up at the end of the week.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Day 141

All My Children is in it's last few days of the show.  After 40 years of being on air, they are winding down all the plots, characters and ending.

If you're a fan of the soap like I am, then you have been glued to your sets for the last month.

I've mentioned a while back elsewhere on the internet about how I love the idea that two of the characters, Tad and Dixie, have been able to sense when the other is around.  It gives a bit of weight to the idea of soulmates.  And if you know me, then you know it's something I believe in majorly.

This is also the beginning of all the new tv shows for the season.  So far, I'm really digging on the new one  Ringer  or as it's called around here "the new buffy"  as it's starring Sarah Michelle Gellar.   

Who, some may remember, was on All My Children for a few years as the original Kendal.  Should be interesting to see how the last few days of AMC come together.

This has been your randomness for the day.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Day 140

Had my doctor's appointment today.  As I said on my main blog, it went... oddly.   My doctor basically told me nothing will change and I will have chronic issues for the rest of time, then told me I need to loose 40 pounds.

What every girl wants to hear right.

When I got to mom's, she decided she wanted to rent a movie, so we did video on demand and got "Madea's Big Happy Family"   bit of a disappointment compared to the others in the Madea series.  But, it's got me wondering if the next one will pick up where this one left off?  

And as far as the blogging goes,  wondering what happened to the STATS ?   I logged in and it seems that I have suddenly a series of 0 in my hits... as in all time history of the blogs 0.
I thought all the glitches on Blogger was over but seems I was wrong.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Day 139

Been a long week.
I see as I went to read one of my favourite blogs - the Julie and Julia Project -  that it's gone!  That's sad really, that blog was the inspiration for millions of us.
Sitting here today, feeling like I should be getting a start on Hallowe'en.   Thou, I have no idea what that start might be.
I've got a nice storage bin of material I bought over the last few years,  maybe I'll trying sewing a tablecloth for Hallowe'en or something?  Thou, my sewing skills suck worse then a leech.
Tried making a pumpkin loaf yesterday.  Which, I've made a hundred times, should be able to make with my eyes closed; only for some messed up reason I added an egg to the recipe.   The recipe does not call for one.  So the loaf sunk and all you could taste was the egg.  I made it over at mom's and was talking to her at the time.  This is what happens when I get even the slightest distracted, ruin the recipe.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Day 138-Day 8

The Jane Austen of it...

Book club was today, and we discussed  Persuasion  
Surprisingly, a lot of time was spent on the characters of Mary and Elizabeth,  the two sisters, and not much on Anne, the lead.

When we did talk about the lead,  it was pointed out more then once about how she is underminded by her family made to feel unwanted in a bunch of ways, but she's in fact the lady who gets the most attention from the men.  Each man who comes into her life finds her the most appealing woman they've met to that point, both in physical and mental bodies.

The letter in the end by Captain Wentworth was a great deal of a topic.  The idea and frustration of loving someone for years and not being with them because of someone else getting in the way and that notion of undying love... sigh with me now....*sigh*

All and all, I walked away from today with a sense of strength of self. 

Book club went well enough that we decided on Sense and Sensibility as our next book.   Now, I just need to locate what I did with my copy....

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Day 137

So my doctor's appointment on Thursday... as I posted on my main blog, I learned nearly nothing.  The x-rays came back clean which is a good thing, but then my doctor pointed out that because of the way my knee is compared to my ankle, I've got alot of chronic issues ahead of me.

Normally, I just sit and listen when a doctor says something.  Ask a few basic questions about what that means but I can't explain to you what came over me this time.  I am just not accepting what he thinks about the issue.  Which is that I need an ankle brace. 

Seriously, something in me just snapped -anger wise- and I said that I've had to suffer fashion my whole life because of my O.I.  and never been able to wear heels and how lately since this whatever it is injury to my foot; I can't even wear opened toe sandals or anything with a strap on it because of how swollen I am.  Hell, I can barely get an athletic runner on.  Which is what I wear 99% of the time, the rest of the time I'm stuck in very practical winter boots.

This is also why I do not wear dresses or skirts anymore; because my one leg is now misshaped since the last round of surgery.   I feel like the Bride of Frankenstein.

And my doctor, started to say "we'll get you in to some lace up army boots and a plaid skirt like that pop star Avril Lavigne"      Trust me he didn't joke anymore.

So here's me, booking yet another follow up appointment, and trying not to cry on the bus home. I made it to my mother's apartment building just as the tears came.   Angry tears.

Few years ago, in an O.I. support group, the two most common questions people would ask were 1) how do you deal with the weight gain   and 2) how do you deal with the depression

My answer was you just do.  
There are two groups of O.I. people,  the ones who are not diagnosed until they are adults, and the ones who are diagnosed at birth.
I was diagnosed at birth, as were my mother and sister.    It seems to be an easier situation for those of us diagnosed at birth.

You get into a routine.  You know that yes there will be broken bones therefore there will be casts and surgeries therefore there will be hospital stays and therapy.  You know that you could take a year or two recovering from this one injury.  Then you know the next step is getting your life back a little.
During recovery time, you gain weight.  You're stuck unable to move much because of the broken parts, and you end up gaining weight.   Sometimes it's only 10 pounds, others it can be close to 50.
And this is when the depression hits.   And it can hit hard. 

You are alone most of the time, you do not have a social life outside of the phone/tv/internet.
Doctors and therapists are who you see the most.  If you're really bad off, you'll end up with a nurse/care giver few times a week.   You're only real source of company.

It's brutal.

Then you can have a few good months/years where life is nearly normal. 
Depending on the degree of the O.I. - the type you have-  normal can span alot of things.

I have been studied by every med student that has come through our city at some point.  I have shown up in emerg on a few occasion to have five or six different interns examine me because O.I. is a rare thing to get to work on.  I've been nothing more then a human lab rat at times. 

Yes, I'm angry.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Day 136

The September Issue for 2011 is out.  Picked it up yesterday.  My magazine buying has been here and there in the last few years.  I no longer look at them as needful but as treats.  

The September Issue is a needful thing. 

I had it with me when I went to mother's and she asked me why I was carrying a telephone book?   When I showed her what it was, she snatched it up and started to flip through it then made the comment about it just being filled with ads for clothes.  

Yes say it with me now.... awww mom's first Vogue.

Seriously, mother has never read a fashion magazine.  She reads the ones that tell you how to decorate a turkey with popcorn stuffing and how to loose water retention in five easy steps.  But something like Vogue, Fashion, Elle,   she wouldn't know it if it slapped her.  Which it nearly did given the weight of the issue.  She dropped it and almost ripped the pages out.  I have to remember not to bring my paper toys to her place anymore.

Okay, so I'm in a slightly swell mood this morning, even though I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon. 

P.S.   Mom is now hooked on Charmed.   Of all things, Charmed!  I was flipping channels few days ago at her place, waiting for Sex and the City on the CosmoTv network which has very edited episodes of SATC; so it's okay to watch in front of mom. {she has an issue with swearing, nudity, sexual content and mature subject matter. Watching anything with her is a pill}  And the show Charmed comes on right before SATC. 
She is sort of digging on SATC but I end up having to explain things because it's the show is edited for content and time.  I've offered to bring over my dvds cause I've got SATC complete collection but no, she says she'd rather watch it on tv where they've edited out "all the bad stuff". 

Well here's to being fashion forward today.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Day 135


I decided I needed to get out of the house yesterday and took myself to see the remake of Conan the Barbarian.

It was decent.  I got a bit confused, because I had remembered a different story when I was a kid.  With a lot more witchery to it.

My big complaint again is the 3D factor.  Seems if you want to see a movie now a days that is not a dramatic love story you have to accept the fact it will be in 3D.


Sunday, August 21, 2011

Day 134Sunday

Because of my screw up yesterday with the original title, the link for Day 134 will actually take you to day 133, hence the added bit to today's

Spent the last two hours working on a new promo for my website and video channels.  I have been thinking about getting back to making my productions for a while now, and been thinking that it's time to update my company website so... good place to start.

I'm the most unorganized woman... so my goal this week is to organize the website and video channels.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Day 133

With this week having been the release of two vampire films, one on dvd the other in cinemas, I've spent a fair bit of time working on my vampire blog.   Which, I'm sure after next week will be a quiet place again for who knows how long.

With that said, I decided to turn going to the movie - I went to see the remake of Fright Night- alone, into a "date".
I go to the movies by myself all the time, so there is nothing radical about that part.  But I never bother to get pretty.   I normally just roll out of bed catch the first bus and slump into the cinema, hiding in the dark.

Yesterday, I decided to make an event of it.  That included doing my nails - new colour called Grey's Anatomy-  hair and make-up -black shadow, a light pink and a silver which mimicked the nail colour-, picking out an outfit - this great grey-lavander wrinkle top from Smart Set- and making sure my iPod was fired up with tunes from past vampire soundtracks.  Anything that made me feel powerful, sexy and just upbeat.

There was a time when I used to spend hours every day getting ready to go out.  And I do mean hours.  Not anymore.   If it takes me more then five minutes to do my hair and make-up, I just don't bother.

The movie was fabulous and even though because of the heat, I ended having to change my top for a planer tee,  I still felt sexy.  

Yes I screwed up on the day. The link says 134 but I spotted my mistake and changed the title to 133

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Day 132-Day 7

Not as much a Jane Austen day as much as a Jane Eyre. 

The newest version of  Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre was released on dvd yesterday.   I had pre-ordered it.   Finally got to sit down last night to watch it after spending the day getting x-rays on my foot, when the dvd player wouldn't work.  I tried everything.   In the end, it was the remote.  Took me almost two hours to figure out that the controller needed new batteries, of which I will have to remember to get today.

Well that's Mercury retrograde for you, electronic screw ups everywhere. 

So my foot... I went into the doctor's on Monday and he ordered x-rays for yesterday.  Quick on that.  Only, he ordered x-rays for my ankle not my foot and it's my foot that has been giving me issues.  So the x-ray tech said she could not actually x-ray more then the area of my body that has been officially listed on the order sheet.   
Well, that was pointless. I go in again next week to the doctor for a follow up to find out what is wrong.  

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Day 131-Day 6

Persuasion seems to be the note of the week.   I was watching the movie The Lake House, and not only do they reference the book throughout the film, it has many elements from the Jane Austen story.

Plot: Alex is living in 2004, Kate is living in 2006, both decided to rent this lake house at different times. Kate leaves a note for the next tenant about a few of the quirks of the house after she moves out in 2006, but Alex is the one who gets her letter, in 2004 when he moves in.  The two have no idea how their letters to each other are managing to reach each other.  They even somehow end up meeting in Alex's timeline but Kate doesn't remember him until years later when he tells her in his letters.

It's a confusing story but very romantic. 
For me, the whole Jane Austen's Persuasion being one of their key links was the IT Factor.  Persuasion has been popping up around me constantly in the last few days.  I'm taking it to be a sign, just not too sure what that sign is?

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Day 130-Day 5

Persuasion. 
Movie version. BBC 2007.

What I learned from that this week, is miscommunication when we are depressed.   It seemed to be the theme of that story.  Or at lest that movie version. 
What it really was was about how love never really dies when it's a strong love.  I love the 1995 movie version of Persuasion but never really got much from it other then "ooohhh pretty"
For whatever reason, watching it -2007 version-yesterday morning it made more sense then I would have thought. 

Even more amazing, mother was glued to the story of it. I know total sidenote here, as some of you might remember that my mom is not a fan of that style of movie, but she was asking questions (she claims she can't understand British accents and said two of the actors looked too much alike) and completely wrapped in it.  I think because this one has a soap opera feel to the plot more then some of the others. 

As you can also guess, since my last post the other day, my first dvd arrived.  I am guessing the next one will be here by Monday.

For anyone who hasn't read the book or seen the movies, the two main characters are both believing that they are the only one who really loved the other when they broke up years before.  There's all these little moments of bitter dialogue between them and stolen glances... okay going to leave that here.

One other thing before I head out for the day... my celebrity crush or as I have been calling him My Affair of the Blog... he's gotten so popular as of late that every time I log into my main blogs to check stats I see there are hundreds of hits that day from his fans googling stuff on him and landing on my blogs.  It's great that he's getting the spotlight he deserves it really is.  But now, I'm feeling like this great gem, this sort of quiet secret has been ripped away.  It was like before I would talk about wrestling and no one knew who the hell I was going on about, but now everyone and their dog's grandmother knows and are taking all the shine out of him. And the worst part is I'm not just jealous of the fact other fans have discovered him too, but of him. Bad I know. There is something about this guy- I love/hate him he drives me insane- and he's managed to succeed where I've failed. Television/art/music.

Okay this is suppose to be a drama free zone, so that is enough emotions on this blog for one day.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Day 129-Day 4

I've got two lovely Jane Austen dvds coming to me from the book store.  Should be here next week. The BBC remake of Emma from 2008/2010  -depends on where you are looking it up it's listed as 2008 and  2010-  The other is the 2007 version of Persuasion.

Speaking of movies,   rented Your Highness  and Jumping the Broom.  Jumping the Broom was for mom.  One of her Christian movies.

Back to keeping track of the food I am eating.  Was shocked at how long the list looks when you write it down even though you only have a few things on your plate.

Been reading a few biographies this last few weeks.  Medium Raw, Tout Sweet and now Under the Tuscan Sun.   all about moving/traveling  and food. 

We are in Mercury Retrograde until the end of the month so expect many screw ups with traffic, computers, electronics, communications and your arms-hands. 

Friday, August 5, 2011

Day 128

So this ended up being like the week that wasn't.
Just what I said I did not want to happen is what happened.  A large exercise in the art of becareful how you speak your desires.

I woke up few days ago with my right foot so swollen and sore I could barely walk.  I've managed to get the swelling down to a manageable amount and the soreness to a controllable amount with painpills.   Yes, a doctor's appointment is scheduled.  Only they can't see me before the 15th.  Lucky me.

I did manage, however, to get that printer I've been wanting for months.  I posted a photo on my main blog the other day of my now printed out manuscript.   I did forget in my excitement to adjust the type size and ended up printing the whole thing out in x-large. 

But it's a step forward right

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Day 127

Normally this would be a wishcasting Wednesday post.  But something happened on the way to Jamie's weekly post.  I got sidetracked by one of her older posts on the blog.  You know, when you are reading a post and the bottom has a list of "if you like this you might like that"  linkwithin posts.   Yeah, I spotted the one post she has The Clock that Taught Me Self Trust
And I started thinking.   Thinking about the million things I keep promising myself, the things I keep promising my blog readers that I just fail to follow through with.

That has to stop.   I have to keep these little promises I've been making.

So maybe, this is a Wishcasting Wednesday post after all.  Her question this week is "What do you wish to nourish?"   I think my answer is I wish to nourish my trust.  Trust in me, trust in the blogging world, trust in community.   I've been let down so often that have come to a point where I expect to be let down.  I expect things to bottom out.   No more of that.  

This blog you are reading right now, was meant to be a daily project for one full year.  I've already slacked off on that promise due to things, and I have to step up to the plate and do what I said I was going to do.

There is so much I want to talk about but have been afraid to do so.  Part of why I have so many blogs.  I hate the idea of offending one group when talking about stuff for another group.  I have to start trusting myself, my intuition, and the people who do stumbling into my life. 

To all the readers today as you intend for yourself, I too am aligned with you.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Day 126

Okay, so I did not make it in the last few days to blog.
Spent today with my sister which was oddly nice.  Went with her to look at a house.

No Jane Austen stuff this week. 

The last few days have been the kind of days were I have wanted nothing to eat but cheese chips. On a total junk food binge right now. Bad for my health and waist, but there must be something in them that my body is lacking... most likely salt.

Off to watch the movie Boon Dock Saints 2

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Returning from break

So I'm back from my little holiday aka house sitting for mom.

The heat here has been over the top unbearable.  We're sitting in +29c and up with humidex of +39c and up for the last week.
Massive storm here last night that destroyed the airport roof and the parking lot.

Got into a strange argument with my uncle, who is a chef, about headcheese.   See, now I know headcheese is not really cheese.  It's like a mixed meat thing.  I would compare it more to Spam then to anything else.

I did finally finish reading As Always Julia  and found it good but little disappointing for what I was expecting it to be.

I, surprisingly, only gained 4 pounds while at mom's.  I say surprisingly and only because all I did was bake cookies and cakes and make bread puddings and jams and such.  Homemade pancakes on more then a few mornings too. 
I took a picture of the cookies.

Will be back tomorrow (if time allows) and back to the actual numbered day posts.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Day 125

Now, I have not left this blog. 

I've just been having a few weeks of gggrrr,  and that's not what I want to post on here. The point of this blog is to be stress free as possible.

Brief catch up,  I'm staying at my mom's while she's out of town, and having to use her computer.  Not a fun thing as it keeps crapping out on me.
Not much cooking happening other then a few basics like pasta and home made sauce.

Reading As Always Julia   still  and have been trying to read Persuasion  online because I forgot my book at my house. Persuasion of course being for book club.

Hope everyone is having a lovely summer. Be back on in a few days.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Day 124- Day 3

A year with Jane Day 3


So this is Celery ramen. 

1/2 a celery stock
2 chopped green onion
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1/2 cup oil
1/2 cole slaw mix {red cabbage, lettuce, carrot}
1 cup water
1 package of mushroom ramen

I wasn't sure how the cole slaw mix would work but it gave it just enough bulk that it made it a nice change from plan packaged ramen.  I did the celery and green onion in the oil before adding the garlic.  It caramelized just enough that it had a slight molasses taste.  

I took the two movie versions of Mansfield Park over to mom's this week. I took a version of Emma and Pride and Prejudice there too. 
My mother is infamous for hating everything, specially period movies and British ones.  So, taking a different Jane Austen film over to her place all week was an interesting project.

She loved P/P and the one version of MP.  The week before I had brought over the Jane Austen Book Club and she seemed to pay attention to it.  What I did not tell her is that I've brought that one in the past to her place and she's watched it.  My mom is the type who will watch half a movie declare she hates it, and then awhile later see it on tv and claim it to be her most favourite movie ever.   I think it depends on her mood.

Anyways, she liked the idea of JABC because of the storyline of the character Sylvia. Which is the mix of Mansfield Park and Persuasion.
She loved the Frances O'Conner version of MP.  Which, I have to admit is my favourite movie version too. 
I had taken the Keira Knightley version of P/P.  She loved the fact it was more a comedy.

What did I learn this week from this little experiment?  
Never say never.   Just because something or someone at first glance seems to be one thing, does not mean you're getting the full and honest story.   Just like Elizabeth Bennett learns in P/P about her views on Wickham and Mr. Darcy. 

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Day 123-Day 2

A year with Jane Day 2

Um... I'm not finding anything.   I was looking for a quote, something I could apply to housekeeping, but I might have picked the wrong Austen.   I was looking in Persuasion. Which, is the book we're doing for the summer in book club.

I'm sure there is plenty, I'm just not finding anything that is jumping out at me.

So, Persuasion. Nice place to start. I've always seen myself in the character of Anne Elliot. Way too much of myself in her. 

It was the Summer Solstice today.  First day of Cancer zodiac too.  Sort of a food viewing day, if you will. Spent the morning watching a foodie-horror film called Bitter Feast. Which I blogged about on my cooking blog.  And the evening watching Top Chef Canada, which I blogged about on my main blog. 

Anyways, only a starting point with the Year of Jane, so I am sure to get into a bit more of a flow as things progress.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Day 122-Day 1

A year with Jane {Day 1}

I was thinking about my novel.  Thinking about the fact I haven't written anything in months. When I opened the file, it was last dated Aug 20th 2010.  Wow! Here I was counting back thinking I'd stopped working on it in November of 2010, but it was even longer then that.  Nearly a full year.
Two years of my life has been poured into writing that novel. { Two and a half if you count the last few months just time wise. }

Then I started to think back to some of my other projects over the last roughly 3 years.  My countless blogs, my short stories that I've been writing on the blogs, the all vampire reading challenge {that I started as a meme and even I did not finish it because I had less then five people interested} my food challenges {inspired by Top Chef challenges that I have talked about doing but haven't}  my scrapbook, etc.

Great at starting things, horrible at finishing.   I keep telling myself, I'll finish it when such and such is done, or when so and so finally gets back to me on it.  And of course it never does/they never do.
Sometimes, I just loose interest.  Other times,  like my novel, I loose inspiration.  With my novel, I know my ending sucks and I really need an editor only I can not afford one. So stuck in limbo until I get a breakthrough.

Which brings me around to this post.  I keep finding myself over on Julie Powell's blog.  The chick who started the Julie/Julia Project.   Bit of a revolution if you ask me.  I've also been finding myself over on A Year with Julia.  A second lady was inspired to do the same thing, spend a year learning how to master the art of French cooking. 
This all got me thinking about a ton of stuff and one of those was the last time I completed a project.  Few years ago on the internet there was a book blogger who put out a challenge for an all Jane Austen challenge that lasted 6 months.  This is what had inspired my all vampire challenge that failed. 
I had been part of her All Jane Austen Challenge, and completed it on deadline and had a bundle of fun with it.  I talked about it on a few of my old blogs and my book review blog.

So here I am.
I'm going to spend the year delving into Jane Austen... again. There has been a lot of *new* Austen stuff in just a few short years since I first did that challenge.  I haven't figured out the details just yet, but that's what life is about right, learning as you go.

This will also bring me into posting more often on here, as I have gotten bad the last couple of weeks. 

So I guess the next question would be .... What Would Jane Do?

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Day 121

Midweek.   Wed. that means it's the wishcasting day on Jamie Ridler Studios.   Her question this week is "what delights do you wish for?"
I think that's one of the toughest ones yet that she's asked. I think a new environment.  Something that inspires me, people who inspire me.  I still have traveling and moving on my mind and maybe this will bring it out a bit faster.
Delights= new places, new people.

And someone awhile back asked me why I don't say "wish"  I say "intend"   It's truly what the old saying "careful what you wish for you just might get it"  really means.   It's not what you are asking for, it's how you ask.  Which I learned the hard way.

I am grateful for Jamie Ridler having started this weekly circle, and the  delights I intend for myself are new places and new people.   And I intend that all your intentions manifest quickly and solidly.  So be it and so it is.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Day 120


This is my $5 purse. 

Yes, $5 Canadian.  Very cool.   I have a thing for clutch bags, also have a thing for grey/silver and have been looking for the last couple of years actually for a grey-silvery coloured purse.

Yes, you're eyes are not playing tricks on you, that is an Insane Clown Posse scarf behind it, I just wanted something to show the contrast of the purse and I thought it would be interesting. 

So how did I score a $5 purse you are thinking?  No it was not on clearance,  it was just a graduation sale at the mall, as this is graduation time around here.  I think the States still call it prom? 

But I am so dubbing this my Carrie Bag, because it's shaped close to the one that was featured on SATC off and on over the course of the show.   Not the exact style, but as close as I've been able to find in this crappy city.

Yesterday, was a day of shopping torture for me.  I had to break down and finally go bra shopping.  I would honestly rather go to the dentist then bra shopping.

La Senza luckily had a "sale" on yesterday so off I went.  Spent way too much on two bras.  But I walked in there, and the sales lady comes up to me with a measuring tape pinned to her shoulder, and asked when the last time I had a fitting was?  
Um... er... damn.  So of course my trip to the lingerie store became a mission.  Oh happy humiliation.

Then I got home to find that my wrestling show is no longer being offered on iTunes Canada.  I felt like a slap to my face had happened.

Here's the lesson in loosing my favourite show. 

Yesterday morning, I read an article that Elizabeth Gilbert wrote in the Oprah magazine stating that when she was writing Committed she started to loose her passion, her lust for writing.  She then decided to step back from the whole thing and just dabble in what she was calling her curiosity for a few months. It ended up giving her a new view on her life's passion. 
I have been at this crossroads myself for the last while {I'd say nearly 9 months}  Right after I read the article, I was trying to figure out what my curiosity is? 
As of yesterday morning, my thought was "I could go back to doing wrestling reviews but last time it made me overly stressed to the point of becoming sick, so I know that's not my passion"
By having the wrestling show literally taken away from me on iTunes Canada (as I do not have cable) my option to do the reviews the way I used to has been removed. I was also paying every three months for a "season pass" to download the show.  Now, I'll be saving myself some of that money {which after the bra shopping yesterday will be a needed thing. Thank god for the ramen noodles cause it's all I'll be able to afford for the next month}

The universe has literally just said to me that going back to doing the reviews the way I was the last few years would be a bad idea. It would be moving backwards and not forwards.
So here I am, having given up my biggest element in my life (the wrestling reviews)  given up my "day job" (the book reviews) and left wondering if the thing I've always said was my life is still my passion/life ? (writing)

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Day 119

It's a Wednesday and once again over on Jamie Ridler Studios,  it's wishcasting day.  Her question this week is "what do you want to begin?"

When I read that this morning, I thought it would be better to ask what I wish to finish, as I have a horrible case of starting things and not completing them.  It seems to be a bad Aries trait.
But I would like to start a new life.   There are just some moments when I really wish I could just become someone else.
Few weeks ago, I was having a really crappy bad day, things were just not happy; and I asked my buddy M. if I could runaway?   He asked why, and when I said I would like to be someone else,  his answer {which came in a text by the way}  was  "why can't you be someone else here?"  

He just didn't get it.  He just doesn't get me. 

Now, I know the main rule of the AYILOORN is to be drama free.   So I'm just going to wrap this post up with saying,  I wish intend that I could am starting a new lifestyle {be careful how you word things, the Gods/Goddesses/Universe will take you at your wording. Never say you are sick of your life or hate your life, say you hate your circumstances/situation}

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Day 118

19 weeks into the blog.

It's one of those days where I keep going around and around on the internet without any direction. Just kept hitting my blogs today, thinking I should post something but not really having anything to say.

I realized that I'm stalling on some  all of my cooking stuff.  I have been saying how I want to do a few of the Top Chef challenges, how I want to do a similar challenge to what Julie Powell did back a decade ago with the Julie/Julia project.
And I have not because I know I need to give up being a vegetarian to do anything properly in the way of cooking challenges.
I would love to work with Foie Gras.  Yes, I know so not politically correct but damn it, it's something I would love to work with just once.  But, I should re-learn how to make turkey and chicken again before doing something like that. 
I've been a vegetarian now for 10 years.  At this point, I can not even be near meat when it's cooking, it makes me sick to my stomach the smell of it.  Which is why I know if I do decide to make that decision to go back to eating meat in order to delve deeper into cooking, it's not something I will be doing on a whim.
I keep telling myself that as soon as one of the following happens that I will make that turn in my diet:

A) When I finally get to move
B) The next boyfriend that I get involved with if he's not a vegetarian himself that I will stop being one in order to cook for/with him
C) If I ever end up knocked-up
D) When I finally get to go on a trip somewhere I'll give up being a vegetarian so that I can make it a culinary trip

There is just something about the idea of making that step while still living in this apartment, still living alone, still .... having this life I'm living right now,  that feels wrong.  I can not make it seem to make any sense other then that. 
I did not become a vegetarian till after I moved into this apartment.  It's just part of the psyche of this place for me. 

Monday, June 6, 2011

Day 117

So to keep the drama lite on here, just going to put a shout out to one of my favourite wrestlers, Chris Sabin, hope your knee heals soon and without complications.

Next item, if you've been reading the SATC style blog, you know I've had a few issues with my mother. I know, I'll just leave it at that.

The carb lovers diet.  I actually ended up gaining 5 pounds in the first 3 days of that one.  What the freal?  I thought the point was that you were suppose to loose a rapid amount in one week because your body was doing something new...different... whatever?
This is why I do not believe in diets.  Honestly. Man, I'm thinking that it's not as good an idea as originally thought. 
Could be where I am a vegetarian too.  Finding protein is difficult at the best of times.  I'll have to continue playing around with this one, try to work it into my normal eating habits for a few weeks to see if anything actually kick starts.

Since I have pretty much ended my book reviews,  I've picked up As Always, Julia  the letters between Julia Child and Avis DeVoto.  {I mentioned back on Day 102 that I had bought it} and have actually-finally- started to read it.
I'm hooked. Seriously, I love the idea of this book.

Oh, and while on the topic of food stuff, I got a new Stir-Fry pan. 
So now I can make my ramen noodles in a really good quality pan. I feel special.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Day 116

And what a day it's been.

Yesterday, I was sitting around and got to see Rachael Ray show.  The one with the Carb Lovers Diet book.
As someone who confesses that I do not believe in diets, I was wondering how this would work.

I did some checking, and it seems that it's not as much a diet as it is a re-programming. 

I called the book store here, and found out there was one lonely copy in stock.  So I dug up the $30 Canadian and got it this afternoon.
I spent a few hours reading the first few chapters of it, out loud to my mom.   Why?  Because, I was not the only one who was sitting there watching the show yesterday.  My mom and sister were too.

We're all major bread/pasta/potato people.
This book is going to get a hefty workout I'll tell you that much. 
It will be interesting seeing how well I can get this to fit my vegetarian lifestyle; and it will be a challenge to get mom to eat anything in the fruit/vegetable category.   But I've already spotted a few items that I can add to my food intake that I normally do not eat (like orange juice. Love oranges but never drink juice)  and walnuts. (high in Omega 3s it would seem. Did you know that?  I did not know that)

I think the hardest part for me is going to be the food diary.  I journal about everything else in life, in both blog form and handwritten journal; but I've tried keeping a food diary before and after two days gave up.
My weight loss goal is  2 dress sizes.   I had bought a few little black dresses few years ago right before my car accident, and I never had a chance to wear them.  Since my car accident I've gained 30 pounds that I can not seem to loose because I can no longer work out.  (I used to work out 4 times a week)

So the goal, to loose enough to fit into my little black dresses that I've had hanging around for 4 and a half years.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Day 115

It's Wednesday which means, over on Jamie Ridler Studios,   it's wishcasting day.  Her question today is "what is your money wish?"

I have not joined in the last few weeks, as to be honest, my head has been everywhere but on blogging.  And you can't be giving if you're in mud.
But I'm in it this week once again, and my answer is  My money wish is to have enough to go on a trip.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Day 114


I can honestly say, Candace Bushnell and Jane Austen, are the only two authors who's works I have all of.

I went out on Friday night and got myself the next book in the SATC series - Summer in the City-  And it was ten times better then The Carrie Diaries.  And I loved the Carrie Diaries even though it had made me doubt myself on a ton of levels.  This one, does the opposite.  It reinforces certain aspects of being a writer.


The two volumes combine, put me in mind of Jane Austen's Northanger Abby and Mansfield Park.  It's about trust.  Trusting yourself and trusting those closest to you.  You're most intimate connections. (sexually and otherwise)

And of course, the clothes.   If you have never read Jane Austen, trust me, for something that is over 200 years old, the issues of finding love, sex, and fashion was as important then as now.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Day 113

Yesterday I finished reading the Carrie Diaries by Candace Bushnell.  That book caused me a lot of thinking and a slight meltdown.
Needless to say, I can not wait to get my hands on the next in the series Summer in the City.

I've put on nearly 6 pounds this past week.  Been eating a ton of sandwiches. I see a cereal and ramen noodles detox in my future.  I'm a stress eater.  And right now, my mother has gotten me ready to throw her out a window. 

Buddy of mine made a statement that hit extremely hard.  He said that until I ether A) find a husband and finally get some respect from my family {very very long story} or B) my mother dies, I will never have a life of my own. 
And I really hate to admit it, but that is pretty much the truth of it.   I get treated like a child because I am not married.  Everyone in my family sees me like I am still 12 because there is no ring on my finger. 

My frustration is showing on the scales.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Day 112

It was foggy here yesterday. Put you in mind of a horror movie. Today, pouring rain.  Cold. Damp.  My kind of weather. 
My body kills me for a few days before we get weather like this, everything starts to act up. Headaches, backaches, hips etc.  When we get the weather,  total relief.  I even sleep better. 
I was not designed for hot dry places. Not at all.  I was designed for misty foggy rain drenched places.

All I've done since yesterday afternoon, is sit and watch episodes of Sex and the City. Today, doing pretty much the same thing.  With the added bonus of reading The Carrie Diaries.  This is something I'm reading for the sake of reading.  Reading for fun.   I know, totally bad of me given the fact I have a stack of 8 books for review that I should be reading. 
But I just do not feel like spending my long weekend working.  And that's what it is here in Canada.  Long Weekend.  Victoria Day. 
At some point, I suppose I should try to do the dishes. 

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Day 111

Nice number.   111 (and 1111) mean the flow of energy in it's forms (water, sex, money, magnetic and kundalini)  So when you see 111 or 1111 it means there is a hit of that energy having just happened.  I always pay attention to that sort of thing, trying to remember what it was I had been just thinking or feeling or where I might have been or talking to when I spot those numbers. 

There is actually a few sites online that delve into the meaning of multiple numbers.

Anyways, my life today.... was muggy here at +13c with rain.  Rented the Tourist.  It was okay, nothing great. 
Can understand why it flopped at the cinema. 

See, I love love love Johnny Depp.  So I decided to dig through one of my bins and found where I had Chocolat.  Made it a Depp double feature today.
The only problem with that was it made me crave hot chocolate.  There was me, sitting in mom's, watching the Depp; digging through the kitchen till I found some coco powder (for baking) and decided to make a mug of hot chocolate.  With the "table cream" I had trekked around town for the other day.  It was good.  Bit on the heavy side but yummy.

I was not in the mood for much in the way of "cooking cooking"  after we cleaned out mom's fridge (which I am ashamed to say is something i need to do with my own fridge) but I did end up making homemade pancakes.  Again with the "table cream" that I had bought the other day.  I swear, by the time I get around to actually making the recipes I bought the cream for, I'll be needing to trek across town again for more cream. 

It was a day of playing hooking as far as work went, as I never even opened the books today.  I've sort of made up my mind that once I am done the stack of books for review that are sitting in my living room, I'm not going to do book reviews much anymore -right now.   Maybe after the fall I'll get back into it.  But I've been doing book reviews for the last 2 and a half years, and it's starting to take it's toll on me.  I've noticed that my reviews are sounding more and more alike and I'm finding I enjoy the books less and less.

Besides, with all the time I've been spending at my mother's in the last two months, I'm finding it a pain in the ass to lug the books to and from her place every day.  Half the time I just end up cooking or do whatever she needs me to do around the apartment. Then by the time I get home, I just want to have a coffee and go to bed.

While at mom's, I watched the replay of last night's WWE Smackdown.  And I have to say, when Wade Barrett is on screen, I don't pay much attention to the match anymore, too busy watching the guy's hair.   Yeah, his hair.  I've talked about this on my wrestling blog; and still I can't get over the fact his hair is so slicked down that it never moves.  Ever.  I am just transfixed by the British dude's hairdo. Waiting, watching, wanting it to do something other then just be an oil slick when he wrestles.
There is your randomness for the evening. Wade Barrett's hair.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Day 110

I'm just sort of sad. As a wrestling fan, hearing the news that Macho Man Randy Savage died today just makes me sad.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Day 109

I missed yesterday on here. Crap!  I was seriously trying to get back to having a post a day.
Yesterday, mom needed to get out again, and we ended up on the bus for way too long.  It had reached +22 c  here yesterday.
Today, it was +24c with a humidex of +27c.  That means, the summer has officially started.  Long weekend here as well because Monday the 23rd is Victoria Day.   I'm not too sure why it's never the same day every year?  Its to celebrate and honor the birthday of Queen Victoria, but yet it shifts every year.  Honestly, I always thought it was the 19th but it seems it's the weekend closest or something.  Anyways, it equals a long weekend here in Canada.
Today's big adventure, was hunting down a liter of "heavy cream".  What I found was the closest thing to that in this city which is "table cream" at 18%.  I had to go to two different groceries to find it too.  Well, the walk did me good.  Thought it was $6 for that, and I know it will get used in like one recipe but whatever Eh?
And why was I hunting down this ingredient?   Mastering the Art of French Cooking, has it as a main for many of the recipes.  I look forward to starting some crazy kitchen antics tomorrow.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Day 108

Trying to get back into the groove with this blog.  No real big news today.

But as I just posted on my main blog,  I was out shopping with mom today and finally got myself a copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking Vol 1 by Julia Child
Yes, I know I was like the only person on the planet who did not have this book. 

And I've already got my sights set on the Joy of Cooking for next book store visit.  That's my vampire bear, he's made some blog appearances over the last few years.  He's my little blog star.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Day 107

Well, it's been an interesting weekend to say the lest.  Not too overly busy but nice.

Saturday I went to the cinema to see Priest.   I ranted and reviewed about it on both my main blog and my vampire review blog.  It was good story wise, but I was unaware of it being in 3D, as our local cinema did not say so on the website when I pre-ordered the ticket.

Got another book review done and up on my book blog.  The kicker was that I finished reading it the night of the Blogger mess and could do nothing about it for awhile.  Which I find if I do not get a review done within a few hours of reading, then I forget 90% of it. Even with notes.

And then today, was at mom's and decided I was going to make homemade rice with broccoli and cheese sauce.  You know, like the kind you get instant in the Uncle Ben's packages.  What to make with it was the question of the day.  I opted for baked beans.  Only, all the recipes we had for it had salt pork and bacon fat as main ingredients.   I used canola oil and a uber dose of just salt so that it would be vegetarian. 
I think it turned out really good.  Specially considering the molasses and ketchup just kept getting everywhere.  My clothes were clean from the laundry when I left the house, now you would think I rolled around in the sauce by the looks of me. 
There was a ton of left overs too.  I won't need to cook for another two days.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Day 106

Wow!   The last day has been rough for bloggers.   With Blogger having been down for over 24 hours and many of us loosing posts, it's sucked.
I know that my tags/labels are all weird as are the comments/reactions still.   I see some of my sidebar stuff is little off looking too.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Day 105

It's a Thursday morning.  I have a review to write up but my brain's not in it.   I loved the book, finished it last night.   Which is the issue.   I finished it and went to bed without writing the review up right away. And this morning, all I want to do is listen to old Kiss cds.

Speaking of books. If you've never jumped to the bottom of my blog, I have a badge for Goodreads 2011 reading challenge.   I'm half way for my goal of 45 books this year.  Yeah, I've already read 20 books since January.  Not too bad if I do say so myself.
If anyone is part of this, leave a comment with your goal and your progress.  And any of your review links too.   Let's compare and see if we are reading the same stuff or if we like/hate the same books.

As always, here is the link to my book review blog  and if you want to get in on the chat the link to my book club blog I would love to get some conversations going.



2011 Reading Challenge



2011 Reading Challenge

Coffins has


read 20 books toward her goal of 45 books.


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