Saturday, February 26, 2011

Day 34

Just when you thought it was safe to move on in your life... you read something that makes you wonder if you made the right choice.

I've been moving steadily away from wrestling. Both in reviews and in being a fan.
You've heard me say that I spent 90% of the last few years blogging and talking about and watching wrestling.  Been a fan since I was 5 -that's 32 years now-
My wrestling columns were my baby. It became the core of my drama too.

I read something today that sort of sent a chill of ... something through me.  There are a bunch of new fans out there doing what I was doing just last year.  Just like I was doing. Same format. 

The feeling was like when you bump into your ex boyfriend with their new girl and you realize their life is just swell as if you never existed.  It stings for a few minutes then you remember why it just didn't work out for you in the first place. You almost want them back but you know better.

I miss how doing the wrestling commentary anchored me. I miss seeing my stuff showing up in skits and the blog of my favourite tag team.

I do not however, miss the panicking of not getting a review done within a certain time because my blog readers were hitting my blog every half hour looking for it. 
I do not miss the headaches from having to watch an episode for 5 hours to get the play by play of each move then spend another hour taking screen captures.
I do not miss the feeling that if I talked about anything else on my blogs, that people would leave and stop reading.

And in the end, yes I lost almost all my blog readers (who I call my Spudguns) but I'm betting dollars to donuts they are the ones who in fact picked up where I left off, and are most likely the fans I'm seeing around the internet who are doing this on a full time basis.

Not to be cocky, but there are days that I miss it horribly, and days when I'm smiling cause I was a trend setter even if only a few of us knew I was.

The big thing I learned from the Life Coaches and Intenders group that I have been working with/for the last year, is that when you are constantly feeling like you are swimming against the current and not with it, that you are doing something that is not the right thing for you at that point in your life.  Even if it's something that worked well before, the second you feel like it's moving through quicksand, the good it might have been doing for you is done. It's something to move on from.

I know at some point down the line I'll get back to it full on. But for now, I have to be happy with the fact it did what it was suppose to when it was suppose to have, and introduced me to the people it was suppose to for the reasons it was suppose to have.

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