Saturday, April 30, 2011

Well it's raining

So it's been a very long day. 

Nothing has gone the way it should have.   The plan for the day was to get up, clean the bathroom, go to grocery, dinner at mother's and home for May's Eve ritual.

Instead, day went like this : Panic over blog issue, headache and stomach issues because of panic, sinus headache because of rain, spend all day in the blogger help forum, crash out credit card buying my own domain name for my blog in middle of panic,  eat half a bagel, and now blogging on here.

Not the dream day I had wanted.  Not that my plans ever seem to come together smoothly or otherwise.

But,  I look at this as the Tower card in tarot.   Destruction that must happen for new growth. 
The crazed spiral I went into over this blogging issue put me in a fear. That fear got me off my ass so to speak and bought my domain name for my main blog.  Something I was thinking about for the whole year since I had started that blog, but kept telling myself it was too expensive.  

True, it's not that much as it's only a once a year expense.  But, given my budget it was one I was not totally sure was really needed. 

I know, I am the last person anyone should have around during anything of stressfullness.   Which is odd, as I never used to freak out so easily few years ago.  Now I panic at the slightest thing.

Tomorrow, I might have a few photos for you.   I took a few yesterday while I was at mom's but I have yet to up load them to the computer. 

Day 97

I know this is suppose to be a drama free zone.  But I got up this morning to find that my main blog has been cloned.  This is the second time in under a year that someone has decided to pretend to be me on the internet and redirect a bunch of spammer sites to my blog. 
I'm really really pissed off right now!

I've been blogging now for almost 10 years, trying to make a name for myself as both a writer and as a media personality.  This just f*cking sucks!

I got pushed off one blog just over a year ago because of an internet stalker and had to start over, I hate to think that I need to do that again.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Day 96

I'm trying to think of what to do for day 100.  That should be an interesting point mark shouldn't it?
Maybe I'll take some photos around the area?

I realized today that I haven't cooked in my own kitchen in almost two months.  I've gone to my mother's every single day almost for two months and all the cooking I've done has been at her house in that time. All the groceries I've bought in that time frame {but the ramen noodles} is sitting in her deep freeze.
That's because I do not have a deep freeze.

All hail the deep freeze.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Day 95

Reading a book for review that has a subplot about Jack the Ripper.  There was a time few years ago, that I had started to really get into the whole Jack the Ripper mystery.
I had read six or seven books on who people thought he had been, and watched a bunch of documentaries and movies (true crime and fiction) on the topic.

Everyone has their personal theory on it.  I know I do. James Maybrick is the one I still lean towards. But then again, I've only read about half the stuff out there on the Ripper murders. 
To be honest, I don't have the stomach for it like I used to.   My nightmares have gotten way too vivid in the last few years.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Day 94

Books.  Men.  And an episode of Cashmere Mafia.   That is my day.

I got a delivery of the next 3 books for review.  The stack has gotten large again and I am starting to get behind once more.

My buddy M. is driving me insane about why I'm not dating right now.

And I think I just found my newest addiction.  Old episodes of the short lived tv show  Cashmere Mafia.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Day 93

Back to the bad weather.  Which of course sucks.

Was sitting at mom's all ready to watch Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution and it wasn't on.  Crap!

Was playing around with the Quiche/breadpuddings again today.   The Quiche like thing I've been making the past week, made it this week without the broccoli.  So I suppose that makes it more of an oven cooked omelette ?

Monday, April 25, 2011

Day 92

We hit 16 c here today.  It was lovely. I did not even need a jacket today.  And considering we had snow on the weekend...
Nothing interesting on the food front today.  Ended up with just a pasta salad for supper.

Book wise,  I am reading "Map of Time"  for review.  It's another take on the Jack the Ripper plot. 

My own writing has hit another slump.  I honestly thought after last week that I was back in the flow of my novel, but sadly not so much.

Tarot card to think about : 6 of Wands.   It's a card of public recognition

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Day 91

So I got this crazy idea that I want to get back into video productions. 
I had my start nearly 20 years ago in television.  Have dabbled over the years in small productions with friends, some of which have been turned into a web based youtube show in the last few years. (video reviews and cooking shows)
It's something I wouldn't mind turning into a proper thing maybe once a week or something.  If I can find a couple of people in my area who have the time and desire to do this.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Day 90

I just got back from both being out at mom's and having gone for coffee with my buddy M.
I just had a post up on my main blog about the coffee but, will talk about  it here because I've talked about ECG on here too.

Situation: myself and my buddy sitting in a very crowded Starbucks about two hours ago. Starbucks is in the back of the grocery.  The Express Checkout Guy was working about ten feet from where we were sitting.   He smiled that shy blushy smile of his as he was collecting up a stray grocery cart. That was until he spotted my buddy M.  His smile then faded away.  He then picked up a stray basket to put away, the whole time staring at us.  Then continued to pick up a stack of about ten baskets with his back to us and walked the long way around the check outs to put them away.

Result:  me being very confused as to if this means anything.  ECG is cute. I've stated before that I have been told he's got a small crush on me, but I've yet to see him do anything about it. ECG always has a line up of women in his checkout trying to get his attention.  

Question:  should I be trying to get his attention?

Friday, April 22, 2011

Day 89

Late very late posting.
There were no cooking experiments today at all. It was leftovers night. 
But the 8 of Cups card in Tarot was popping up all day in readings.  It's a card about moving away from one stage in life/issue  without looking back.   I've been trying to figure out what that might be?

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Day 88

Quick run in. 
This was another night that I wasn't sure I was going to post.  But, the whole point of this is to have a post every night for one full year.  Drama free.
It's been a long day.  I find myself in bed most nights now by 10:30pm and up most mornings by 7:30am.

Tides are turning. Change is happening.  I can feel it.  Can you?

On that note, I will say this much,  I stumbled upon a youtube video by a sports hero of mine just a few minutes ago and even though the video was a sad one, it still managed to leave me giddy.  I can not explain it nor do I think I should try.

Synchronicity.  That's all I can say on the matter.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Day 87

Wishcasting Wednesday on Jamie Ridler Studios.   Today's question is "What do you wish to Tend?"

I'm at a bit of a lose with that one.  I suppose a career.  Because I do not have one.   Given the Osteogenesis Imperfecta,  I'm stuck on disability. 

I guess then my answer is that I wish to tend to my career as a writer.

Any editors/publishers reading or literary agents .... 

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Day 86

I was asked what happens to this blog project when the year is up?

Good question.  Not too sure at this point on the answer.  I suppose it will depend on what the end of the year has to offer.
I feel like I'm still waiting for something.  though I'm not even sure what the something truly is. The right "this"  or the proper "that"  or finally a reply from "so and so"  that will somehow fit into the puzzle that I feel is my life and is indeed missing the key piece.

How's that for confusion?

Oh and for the person who emailed me asking if I really do eat all the ramen noodles I list I do, here's my bin. That's about roughly two week's worth. 

Monday, April 18, 2011

Day 85

Mom had a doctor's appointment today.  We spent more time on the bus getting there and back then she spent in the doctor's. Which I suppose is a good thing.

The book I'm reading this week for review is about books.  Ironically.  And it's put a few ideas in my head that might help me figure out how to fix my own novel that has been stuck in limbo for months.  I've been working on my novel for two solid years and haven't done more then a sentence in about 5 months.

Had blogged last night on my main blog about a food challenge I wanted to start this week, but like many of my plans, things got derailed.   I will have to set aside some time next week to start it up.  When I do, I'll post it here as well as my main blog and my cooking one.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Day 84

Somehow I ended up getting both copies of my mother's  Betty Crocker International and New International CookBook

Not complaining.  Just wondering how mom let that slip past?  The first having been printed in 1980 and the second having been printed in 1989. 
I knew I had one of them, did not realize until last night when I was looking for something and came across the second book, that I had scored both books.  This is what happens when you have so many things half packed away, you loose track of stuff.

Think I will sit down later and see what the big difference is between them. Find out if they are volumes 1 and 2 or if one is just a re-release.

Tomorrow marks the 1 year anniversary of my main blog.  I have no idea what to post for that.  I know other people do big crazy stuff to celebrate theirs.  But seriously, it's a blog people, not a child. Even though sometimes it might feel like you've put that much time and energy into the damned thing. 

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Day 83

I'm tired of compromising.

I'm sitting here now, watching the snow come down from the storm we got.  Feeling like I can not be totally honest with what I want to say because I'll piss people off.

I know some folks who read my stuff feel I'm over the top at times but I've never let loose completely.

I'm also tired of giving praise to people who might not really deserve it. 

I've signed up to a bunch of different websites and newsletters over the years, and some of my favourites are Astrology based. One thing that has been mentioned across the board in these is the shift that is set to happen in a few days.  I'm trying to understand how that will work itself in my life.

And for anyone who was wondering, I lost 6 pounds in the last 4 days just by cutting the soya replacement meat products out.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Day 82

Was on my way to grocery, and bumped into my sister's friend.  We chatted for a few minutes and she said she was heading there too so we walked around the store together. 
One of the staff whom I've mentioned on my other blog as Lemon Zest Stock Boy - kept popping up around us the whole time we were there. 
I'm not sure what to think of him.  I get the half impression he's gay, the other half of impression is that he's got a crush on me.  Either way, he drives me batty.  

He works in the Produce department.  And for odd reasons, he was popping up down the other end of the store where we were, without needing to be.  As in, he was not helping anyone find anything, he was not getting anything from the aisles we were in, he was not stocking stuff in those aisles.
He was just randomly walking past us the half hour we were in the grocery. At one point when we were checking out, I saw him walk past the checkout twice almost as if he was pacing, looking at us. 
This is a guy who in the last few months I've said I've wanted to slap/strangle/suplex through a window.

The sad part is, he's not even the one I have a crush on.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Day 81

I almost skipped blogging on here today, as I spent the day yet again at mom's and don't have much to talk about.
She had to have the shower fixed and the repair guy was cute, but otherwise, we watched a movie and that was about it.

It was salads all day because I'm trying to do a bit of a detox after eating nothing but soya meat replacements (veggie burgers, veggie dogs, veggie chicken thingies)  and have gained nearly 10 pounds from them in the last two weeks.  That's a lot of Tofu weight.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

2 cups of coffee later

Hey. It's me. Again. Your blogger.
I just posted on my main blog a short ranting ramble.  I do not know what's wrong with me today. I woke up angry.  Then a whack of internet issues. A sinus headache.
On my second cup of coffee for the morning, which is normal for me.  Have to get into the shower in a few minutes and get the laundry together.  It's mother's laundry day.  So I go over there on Wednesday mornings and do her laundry for her, in turn I get to sneak in a few things of mine. 
There was a Daily OM post yesterday about Tribes.  I think they did this topic before like a year ago, because I remember blogging about the topic on one of my other blogs.  But it's been stuck in my mind since yesterday. 
Tribes.   Community.  Family.  And where do I fit in?
My sister is already a stepmom to four kids. She's firmly established her tribe with her guy and his kids, her two best friends, and her six co-workers. 
Her life is set.  My life is drifting.  And I'm the older of us.
I know I set this blog up to be a drama free space, but that's how I'm feeling today.  Where my head is at.  I just needed to get that out and my main blog just did not feel like the right spot for it.

Day 80

First item
The Newfie pulls out the flipper! I seriously thought that he was going to go with a seal flipper pie.   Of course I'm talking about Top Chef Canada.  I am totally hyped to see a Newfie on the board.  I hope there is some more traditional Newfoundland items in the course of the season.
Got a small rush just from seeing the Canadian flag on the chef coats.  I'm just dorking out on this big time. Showing my dorkdom proudly.  Don't understand why it took so long to get a TCCanada?  The original show has been on for what like 7 years I think?

Wishcasting Wednesday 
I had already started my post this morning when I remembered it was Wishcasting day on Jamie Ridler Studio.  "What do you wish to read?"  is the question today.  I do book reviews. I'm reading all the time. I've been trying to get a decent book club up for over a year now, which has members that come and go per month.
So what do I wish to read?  Something groundbreaking. Something that reminds me of the best parts of Naked Lunch, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, On the Road.  I see nothing lately but slop that seems like it's the same slop I read the week before. Give me something original that puts it on the same level as things written 60 years ago, or a 100 years ago, or 200 years ago.  Give me the next Frankenstein 

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Day 79

Hey.  It's me.  You're blogger.  I just blogged over on my main blog  about my day at mother's and my thoughts on Jamie Oliver's second season of Food Revolutions.
I had hoped to chat about the first episode of Top Chef Canada  as well, but I have not had a chance yet tonight to see the episode on the website.  I'm going to make myself a cup of tea and get to watching it now in a few minutes.  So, that will be tomorrow's topic.
I will however say that if you missed Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution Season 2  that was on tonight, you need to find a replay and check into.  And visit his website to sign the petition. 

Monday, April 11, 2011

Day 78

We are 11 weeks into this blog.
What have I learned so far?

  1. That when it comes to wrestling, people want to talk about Jeff Hardy and Hulk Hogan even though I don't want to
  2. That the YoungAdult (YA) and TeenRomance (TR) sections of the book world wouldn't go away even though most of us are sick to death of them, and they are not all that suitable for the ages of 12-17 that they are being marketed to.
  3. That a decent bowl of homemade ramen is nearly impossible to do vegetarian.
  4. That the movie Stigmata isn't truly a horror film. 
 I saw the film For Coloured Girls  and found it to be difficult to sit through.  The brutality of it made it really difficult.
I don't know, maybe I'm just not as strong as I thought I was?

    Sunday, April 10, 2011


    I'm wondering about doing more of a regular newsletter?

    I do one every so often for the book club blog (through Google Friends ), and I do have a format for my main one (through Bravenet), but almost no one has signed up for that one. 

    I wonder how effective it would be to have a newsletter for this blog or even switching for the main blog?

    Almost thinking a general newsletter might be the way to go, to let people know weekly which blogs I've posted to and what's coming up in general with the book stuff.

    Anyone have any suggestions?  How has newsletters worked for you?

    Day 77

    Sunday morning.
    Was just checking my blogs, and you know what the numbers don't add up.  I know that I am not the only one in the blogsurface-area that wonders why my hits counter is steady but my comments are zero.

    In the book Julie/Julia,  Julie Powell called her blog readers her bleeders in one instance. Short for blog readers.
    About a year ago, I started calling my blog readers Spudguns/TNA Spudguns.   I got asked a few times why?  
    Some people know I'm a big fan of the British show  Bottom.  There is a character on there played by Steven O'Donnell called   Spudgun (actually I think they spelled it Spud-Gun in the credits?) who would show up mid episode usually after a commercial break and ask a question, which was reason for the main characters to go over the episode's plot to catch viewers up.   I had been watching a few episodes back to back one day before hitting my old blog and when typing up my post, threw in a question mid-way, and then answered it by calling the reader Spudgun.
    As far as putting TNA in front of it, that was directed to a few wrestling readers.

    What's got me going on with this at 8:30am on a Sunday morning is, I've noticed I'm not the only one out there who has pet names for their blog readers.  Mind you most people have something that makes more sense that does not need such a long explanation.

    Saturday, April 9, 2011

    Day 76

    Sitting at mother's. She's just gone out to a birthday party, and I am watching a replay of last night's wrestling and making a massive pot of soup.

    One of the top things on my to do list when I finally get to move, is get cable.  At the moment, I just can not afford it.  Hence coming to mother's nearly every day lately.

    So I've discovered something.  When I am in the kitchen, I feel better.  Ironic isn't it.

    Friday, April 8, 2011

    Day 75


    I just sat down... well okay been sitting here for over an hour... to write up a post about something I mentioned few days ago. 
    When I read it back, it sounded like a half lecture and even I was confused with my own topic.  Which was communication on the blogsurface.

    It is something that I'm interested in chatting about, but one post I suppose I'll have to work on a bit. Cause it had me tangled up in my own underwear. 

    Okay, off to have a coffee.  Plan of the day is to get some work done for book review blog and wrestling blog and if I'm really lucky with some extra energy, the bathroom needs a clean.

    If anyone knows how to get to the top of the shower without needing to climb up on a chair in the tub to clean it please let me know. As I'm short and the top of my shower wall is needing a good clean.

    Thursday, April 7, 2011

    Book Club Posting

    Okay, in my last post I said I would pop in with the link for the book club selection post.

    You can check it out here

    Nothing too fancy,  just a short post.

    Day 74

    Well, I've gained another 5 pounds this week. 

    The biggest thing about learning to cook, and going to my mother's all the time is the eating.   I've put my foot down as far as getting her sweets anymore.  She doesn't need them, nor do I;  and I am the one who ends up eating everything because she has one piece of a cake and sends the rest home with me.  It would be cheaper and easier if she would just get the sample sizes of stuff when she wants something from the dessert area of the grocery. 

    I finished reading Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert this morning.   But since I've been at mother's all day, I have not had a chance yet to post it on the book club blog.   I will get to that shortly.  When I do, I'll throw the link up on here and my personal blog.

    Wednesday, April 6, 2011

    Day 73

    Wishcasting Wednesday for April 6th 2011
    The question this week on Jamie Ridler Studios  is "What do you wish to transform?"

    Good question.
    Seriously heavy answer.

    I am going to take a bit of a mundane approach to this one this week.  I'm going to say the way we all communicate and the way I blog. 

    Why two things and why such odd ones? 
    I'm sort of suck in a bit of a communication rut at the moment, even more so that we have Mercury traveling in Retrograde right now.   Anyone who studies Astrology or Mythology in any form knows that Mercury is the planet of communication, and electronics. 
    Blogging has become my life line in the last few years, and I've let it get out of hand recently. 

    So   I intend that I have transformed the way I communicate and the way I blog.  

    Tuesday, April 5, 2011

    Day 72

    Not even 9am yet, and already I've checked all my emails, and visited a few online communities.

    Which brings me to my question this morning.     Online forms/networks/communities.  What are the ones people seem to be posting to on daily basis?

    I post about once a day now to questions in Book Blogs on Ning.  Surf the latest topics on Food Network Canada few times a week,  and Shelfari groups,  and keep my Chapters/Indigo/Coles  profile up to date as much as possible. 

    Otherwise, there are a few BlogFrog communities I pay attention too.   Not that I seem to be getting much in response at the moment from them. 

    There was a lady on the book blogs forums who commented about how promoting a blog is more work then having the blog.   This is true if all you want are numbers in your follow box.  Not so much if you want something you can really be proud of. 
    I think that is a major issue with me.   I've been at this now for almost a decade -blogging- and I've still not had a single blog that I was totally proud of.   I've had bits here on blog one bits on blog three a good year on blog seven  etc.  
    But not one blog where I have looked at it and said "I should turn this into a book or a new way of life"    And trust me,  I tried more then once. 

    How do you keep your own interest and still be able to promote it around ? 

    Okay, I've got two topics going here this morning.   and I haven't even had coffee yet.

    Monday, April 4, 2011

    Reality vs Where I want to be

    I just spent over fifteen minutes on my main blog writing a post that I decided against posting.  But I could not delete it either.  It will, like many things I write, sit in draft mode for all eternity.

    I'm reading Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert for book club, and just like her last one Eat Pray Love  my brain is going overtime.

    She has a way with her books of making you examine your own life with a superpowered microscope.  Sometimes the results are good, sometimes not.
    I'm sort of feeling like I'm unhinging as of late.  And I know this is a good thing in the long run because it means I'm getting ready to move into another phase of things. 
    But in the short term, it's digging up fears and big self esteem issues.  Major insecurities.
    As I want to keep this blog a drama free place (or as humanly close to that as possible)  I won't get into the whole mess of what I just left in the draft of the other blog.  I do hope that this is leading to a major breakthrough.

    Day 71

    We've gotten over an inch of snow over night.   And more of the fluffy stuff coming down still.
    This sucks.   It's April and it's snowing.

    I just finished the next part of my paranormal story over on my main blog part 7
    That was one of the things I wanted to tackle on that blog, writing fiction. 

    So far, I've had zero feedback on that story.  Lots of hits, zero feedback. 

    Sunday, April 3, 2011

    Day 70

    When I left the apartment this morning to go to mother's, it was shinning out and nice.  In the last hour it's been snowing again.  Only it's more a slush then a real snow.
    It's like the weather just will not make up it's mind around here as of late.

    I was suppose to have gone for coffee with my buddy M.  but dude never called me.  Wondering what happened to him. 
    Now, weather is just too icky to do anything but sit inside and read.

    Saturday, April 2, 2011

    Day 69

    I'm trying to sort out how I feel today.

    I'll explain with as little drama as possible.   I had a coffee with one of members of book club today.  And all I could think about was the large diamond on her hand.  Cause I was thinking only "when's it my turn?" 
    So, when I was coming home, I kept bumping into these packs of guys.  It's the nice weather, brings them out in packs, like wolves.  A few were hot looking.  None I would want anything to do with, but hot enough that I noticed. 
    I also noticed that a few odd ones here and there noticed me in passing. 

    Stopped in at the grocery before coming home at the end of the day, and 3 of the hot guys who work there that I have had crushes on were on shift at the same time today. 
    One of which, I've talked about few times,  Express Checkout Guy.   Anyways, he was working the tile next to where I was in line.   Just cause he works the express line, does not mean his line moves fast as it's always backed up with chicks of all ages trying to score him. 
    So I was in the next line over, talking to the lady working.  The whole time, I had the intense urge to look over at Express Checkout Guy.  And when I did, he was standing a few feet away talking to an older lady.  I kept feeling as if he was wanting my attention.  But when I moved a few feet in his direction, he got called over to the self serve check out. 

    I left.  Walking home I started to play the events of the day over in my head.  Trying to sort out everything.  One thing I could not get past is the fact that ECG over the last few months always seems more animated when he sees me then when he talks with other people in the store. 
    I've had one of his coworkers tell me I need to pay more attention to him, as he has a crush on me.  If that's true, then why hasn't he done anything about it? 

    More importantly,  why have I not sensed it?   If he's attracted to me in any form, shouldn't I know?  Not guessing and wondering but actually feel something ?  A few butterflies or something? 
    The guy is totally cute to the point he literally has a non-stop line up of women fifty deep every few hours trying to get his attention.  

    Then I started to think back to the last time I had a real honest sexual attraction to a guy, where there was no doubt in my mind.   It's been years.  Most guys might get my attention for a brief few seconds as I'm walking past them, some might even get me to look forward to bumping into them if I know they work somewhere I frequent. 
    But none have had my heart beating triple time, or my skin hot at the thought of them or my pulse race in years. 

    Obviously I'm missing some information here.  If ECG's coworker was right about him liking me, shouldn't I have more of a reaction from him?

    Friday, April 1, 2011

    Day 68

    Nothing exciting today.  
    I did however, write another piece yesterday on my paranormal story over on my main blog.  Part 6 of Lights out in the Library.

    Picked up a copy of the movie Vlad  on DVD in the clearance bin at the movie store.   Yay. I love cheap movies.