Day 138-Day 8

The Jane Austen of it...

Book club was today, and we discussed  Persuasion  
Surprisingly, a lot of time was spent on the characters of Mary and Elizabeth,  the two sisters, and not much on Anne, the lead.

When we did talk about the lead,  it was pointed out more then once about how she is underminded by her family made to feel unwanted in a bunch of ways, but she's in fact the lady who gets the most attention from the men.  Each man who comes into her life finds her the most appealing woman they've met to that point, both in physical and mental bodies.

The letter in the end by Captain Wentworth was a great deal of a topic.  The idea and frustration of loving someone for years and not being with them because of someone else getting in the way and that notion of undying love... sigh with me now....*sigh*

All and all, I walked away from today with a sense of strength of self. 

Book club went well enough that we decided on Sense and Sensibility as our next book.   Now, I just need to locate what I did with my copy....

Day 137

So my doctor's appointment on Thursday... as I posted on my main blog, I learned nearly nothing.  The x-rays came back clean which is a good thing, but then my doctor pointed out that because of the way my knee is compared to my ankle, I've got alot of chronic issues ahead of me.

Normally, I just sit and listen when a doctor says something.  Ask a few basic questions about what that means but I can't explain to you what came over me this time.  I am just not accepting what he thinks about the issue.  Which is that I need an ankle brace. 

Seriously, something in me just snapped -anger wise- and I said that I've had to suffer fashion my whole life because of my O.I.  and never been able to wear heels and how lately since this whatever it is injury to my foot; I can't even wear opened toe sandals or anything with a strap on it because of how swollen I am.  Hell, I can barely get an athletic runner on.  Which is what I wear 99% of the time, the rest of the time I'm stuck in very practical winter boots.

This is also why I do not wear dresses or skirts anymore; because my one leg is now misshaped since the last round of surgery.   I feel like the Bride of Frankenstein.

And my doctor, started to say "we'll get you in to some lace up army boots and a plaid skirt like that pop star Avril Lavigne"      Trust me he didn't joke anymore.

So here's me, booking yet another follow up appointment, and trying not to cry on the bus home. I made it to my mother's apartment building just as the tears came.   Angry tears.

Few years ago, in an O.I. support group, the two most common questions people would ask were 1) how do you deal with the weight gain   and 2) how do you deal with the depression

My answer was you just do.  
There are two groups of O.I. people,  the ones who are not diagnosed until they are adults, and the ones who are diagnosed at birth.
I was diagnosed at birth, as were my mother and sister.    It seems to be an easier situation for those of us diagnosed at birth.

You get into a routine.  You know that yes there will be broken bones therefore there will be casts and surgeries therefore there will be hospital stays and therapy.  You know that you could take a year or two recovering from this one injury.  Then you know the next step is getting your life back a little.
During recovery time, you gain weight.  You're stuck unable to move much because of the broken parts, and you end up gaining weight.   Sometimes it's only 10 pounds, others it can be close to 50.
And this is when the depression hits.   And it can hit hard. 

You are alone most of the time, you do not have a social life outside of the phone/tv/internet.
Doctors and therapists are who you see the most.  If you're really bad off, you'll end up with a nurse/care giver few times a week.   You're only real source of company.

It's brutal.

Then you can have a few good months/years where life is nearly normal. 
Depending on the degree of the O.I. - the type you have-  normal can span alot of things.

I have been studied by every med student that has come through our city at some point.  I have shown up in emerg on a few occasion to have five or six different interns examine me because O.I. is a rare thing to get to work on.  I've been nothing more then a human lab rat at times. 

Yes, I'm angry.

Day 136

The September Issue for 2011 is out.  Picked it up yesterday.  My magazine buying has been here and there in the last few years.  I no longer look at them as needful but as treats.  

The September Issue is a needful thing. 

I had it with me when I went to mother's and she asked me why I was carrying a telephone book?   When I showed her what it was, she snatched it up and started to flip through it then made the comment about it just being filled with ads for clothes.  

Yes say it with me now.... awww mom's first Vogue.

Seriously, mother has never read a fashion magazine.  She reads the ones that tell you how to decorate a turkey with popcorn stuffing and how to loose water retention in five easy steps.  But something like Vogue, Fashion, Elle,   she wouldn't know it if it slapped her.  Which it nearly did given the weight of the issue.  She dropped it and almost ripped the pages out.  I have to remember not to bring my paper toys to her place anymore.

Okay, so I'm in a slightly swell mood this morning, even though I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon. 

P.S.   Mom is now hooked on Charmed.   Of all things, Charmed!  I was flipping channels few days ago at her place, waiting for Sex and the City on the CosmoTv network which has very edited episodes of SATC; so it's okay to watch in front of mom. {she has an issue with swearing, nudity, sexual content and mature subject matter. Watching anything with her is a pill}  And the show Charmed comes on right before SATC. 
She is sort of digging on SATC but I end up having to explain things because it's the show is edited for content and time.  I've offered to bring over my dvds cause I've got SATC complete collection but no, she says she'd rather watch it on tv where they've edited out "all the bad stuff". 

Well here's to being fashion forward today.

Day 135

I decided I needed to get out of the house yesterday and took myself to see the remake of Conan the Barbarian.

It was decent.  I got a bit confused, because I had remembered a different story when I was a kid.  With a lot more witchery to it.

My big complaint again is the 3D factor.  Seems if you want to see a movie now a days that is not a dramatic love story you have to accept the fact it will be in 3D.

Day 134Sunday

Because of my screw up yesterday with the original title, the link for Day 134 will actually take you to day 133, hence the added bit to today's

Spent the last two hours working on a new promo for my website and video channels.  I have been thinking about getting back to making my productions for a while now, and been thinking that it's time to update my company website so... good place to start.

I'm the most unorganized woman... so my goal this week is to organize the website and video channels.

Day 133

With this week having been the release of two vampire films, one on dvd the other in cinemas, I've spent a fair bit of time working on my vampire blog.   Which, I'm sure after next week will be a quiet place again for who knows how long.

With that said, I decided to turn going to the movie - I went to see the remake of Fright Night- alone, into a "date".
I go to the movies by myself all the time, so there is nothing radical about that part.  But I never bother to get pretty.   I normally just roll out of bed catch the first bus and slump into the cinema, hiding in the dark.

Yesterday, I decided to make an event of it.  That included doing my nails - new colour called Grey's Anatomy-  hair and make-up -black shadow, a light pink and a silver which mimicked the nail colour-, picking out an outfit - this great grey-lavander wrinkle top from Smart Set- and making sure my iPod was fired up with tunes from past vampire soundtracks.  Anything that made me feel powerful, sexy and just upbeat.

There was a time when I used to spend hours every day getting ready to go out.  And I do mean hours.  Not anymore.   If it takes me more then five minutes to do my hair and make-up, I just don't bother.

The movie was fabulous and even though because of the heat, I ended having to change my top for a planer tee,  I still felt sexy.  

Yes I screwed up on the day. The link says 134 but I spotted my mistake and changed the title to 133

Day 132-Day 7

Not as much a Jane Austen day as much as a Jane Eyre. 

The newest version of  Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre was released on dvd yesterday.   I had pre-ordered it.   Finally got to sit down last night to watch it after spending the day getting x-rays on my foot, when the dvd player wouldn't work.  I tried everything.   In the end, it was the remote.  Took me almost two hours to figure out that the controller needed new batteries, of which I will have to remember to get today.

Well that's Mercury retrograde for you, electronic screw ups everywhere. 

So my foot... I went into the doctor's on Monday and he ordered x-rays for yesterday.  Quick on that.  Only, he ordered x-rays for my ankle not my foot and it's my foot that has been giving me issues.  So the x-ray tech said she could not actually x-ray more then the area of my body that has been officially listed on the order sheet.   
Well, that was pointless. I go in again next week to the doctor for a follow up to find out what is wrong.  

Day 131-Day 6

Persuasion seems to be the note of the week.   I was watching the movie The Lake House, and not only do they reference the book throughout the film, it has many elements from the Jane Austen story.

Plot: Alex is living in 2004, Kate is living in 2006, both decided to rent this lake house at different times. Kate leaves a note for the next tenant about a few of the quirks of the house after she moves out in 2006, but Alex is the one who gets her letter, in 2004 when he moves in.  The two have no idea how their letters to each other are managing to reach each other.  They even somehow end up meeting in Alex's timeline but Kate doesn't remember him until years later when he tells her in his letters.

It's a confusing story but very romantic. 
For me, the whole Jane Austen's Persuasion being one of their key links was the IT Factor.  Persuasion has been popping up around me constantly in the last few days.  I'm taking it to be a sign, just not too sure what that sign is?

Day 130-Day 5

Persuasion. 
Movie version. BBC 2007.

What I learned from that this week, is miscommunication when we are depressed.   It seemed to be the theme of that story.  Or at lest that movie version. 
What it really was was about how love never really dies when it's a strong love.  I love the 1995 movie version of Persuasion but never really got much from it other then "ooohhh pretty"
For whatever reason, watching it -2007 version-yesterday morning it made more sense then I would have thought. 

Even more amazing, mother was glued to the story of it. I know total sidenote here, as some of you might remember that my mom is not a fan of that style of movie, but she was asking questions (she claims she can't understand British accents and said two of the actors looked too much alike) and completely wrapped in it.  I think because this one has a soap opera feel to the plot more then some of the others. 

As you can also guess, since my last post the other day, my first dvd arrived.  I am guessing the next one will be here by Monday.

For anyone who hasn't read the book or seen the movies, the two main characters are both believing that they are the only one who really loved the other when they broke up years before.  There's all these little moments of bitter dialogue between them and stolen glances... okay going to leave that here.

One other thing before I head out for the day... my celebrity crush or as I have been calling him My Affair of the Blog... he's gotten so popular as of late that every time I log into my main blogs to check stats I see there are hundreds of hits that day from his fans googling stuff on him and landing on my blogs.  It's great that he's getting the spotlight he deserves it really is.  But now, I'm feeling like this great gem, this sort of quiet secret has been ripped away.  It was like before I would talk about wrestling and no one knew who the hell I was going on about, but now everyone and their dog's grandmother knows and are taking all the shine out of him. And the worst part is I'm not just jealous of the fact other fans have discovered him too, but of him. Bad I know. There is something about this guy- I love/hate him he drives me insane- and he's managed to succeed where I've failed. Television/art/music.

Okay this is suppose to be a drama free zone, so that is enough emotions on this blog for one day.

Day 129-Day 4

I've got two lovely Jane Austen dvds coming to me from the book store.  Should be here next week. The BBC remake of Emma from 2008/2010  -depends on where you are looking it up it's listed as 2008 and  2010-  The other is the 2007 version of Persuasion.

Speaking of movies,   rented Your Highness  and Jumping the Broom.  Jumping the Broom was for mom.  One of her Christian movies.

Back to keeping track of the food I am eating.  Was shocked at how long the list looks when you write it down even though you only have a few things on your plate.

Been reading a few biographies this last few weeks.  Medium Raw, Tout Sweet and now Under the Tuscan Sun.   all about moving/traveling  and food. 

We are in Mercury Retrograde until the end of the month so expect many screw ups with traffic, computers, electronics, communications and your arms-hands. 

Day 128

So this ended up being like the week that wasn't.
Just what I said I did not want to happen is what happened.  A large exercise in the art of becareful how you speak your desires.

I woke up few days ago with my right foot so swollen and sore I could barely walk.  I've managed to get the swelling down to a manageable amount and the soreness to a controllable amount with painpills.   Yes, a doctor's appointment is scheduled.  Only they can't see me before the 15th.  Lucky me.

I did manage, however, to get that printer I've been wanting for months.  I posted a photo on my main blog the other day of my now printed out manuscript.   I did forget in my excitement to adjust the type size and ended up printing the whole thing out in x-large. 

But it's a step forward right