Just before I woke up few minutes ago, I had a dream. In the dream, I was looking the way I had about 9 years ago. Short spikes of platinum blonde hair, pale skin the colour of baby powder, 70 pounds lighter, and I was singing and dancing in my dream.
Yes, I've gained 70 pounds in the last couple of years since my car accident but that's another topic for another time.
But the point was, in the dream, I was extremely happy. And for a few seconds as I was waking up, I felt that way to my core. Totally beyond joyful.
Then I realized I'm still currently on the sofa at my mother's with a massive bandage on my knee and reality was back.
The point though I think of the dream, was the feeling. I don't know if it was to let me know I can and will feel that wonderful again, or to remind me that I am capable of feeling that great?
Anyways, that's my goal, to feel that way again. No matter if I manage to get looking like that again or not. And given how difficult it's been to loose the weight again since my injuries, I have to accept that I might not.
The hair is easy enough if I pay a stylist, but my skin doesn't seem to want to behave now that I'm older. I go outside for two minutes and I seem to burn which just doesn't bounce back like it used to.
Work on getting the knee back into proper working order, maybe I can be strong enough on it to still sing and dance around the kitchen. Recapture the feeling in the dream.
Hope that anyone who reads this today is dancing and singing too.